


And the Snowflakes Fall

by shinealightrose



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, holiday fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 05:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5485313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightrose/pseuds/shinealightrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minseok has an aversion to holidays, something his boyfriend Luhan understands but yearns to change.  Will a winter vacation together be enough to change Minseok’s heart? Luhan will do everything in his power to help him overcome it, if he must.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A moody holiday Xiuhan piece leading to glorious fluff, by yours truly.  
> This is a cross-post from something I wrote last year, but with a NEW SEXY EPILOGUE!  
> Merry Christmas!

Now that Luhan considers it, maybe taking Minseok on a winter trip to the mountains isn’t the best way to completely avoid the holidays. The resort they are booked at is cheerfully decorated and the staff are wearing festive colors and greet the guests at every turn with a “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy holidays!” 

Luhan smiles at them politely, each time ushering his gloomy-faced boyfriend past them with great urgency. Anything to keep from spoiling Minseok’s mood entirely. 

The lobby speakers echo tasteful holiday music throughout the building. It’s a relief finally when they turn down the hallway that leads to their room, and even more of a relief when Luhan finally closes the door shut behind them and only silence awaits. It’s snowing outside, just barely. Minseok walks to the sliding glass door of their balcony and observes it for one, quiet minute. Then he pulls the curtains closed, turns his back on the window, and heads for the bathroom to wash up for the night. 

Luhan observes him stealthily with his best, stoic expression, the one that says ‘I’m merely curious but not concerned’. Years of practicing help him to disguise the sadness and depression he shares empathetically with Minseok; disguises the fact that Luhan would love to dress up for Halloween, or that he’d give anything to give Minseok chocolates and flowers on Valentine’s Day, to put up one picture of a bunny for his desktop background around Easter, or to go caroling with his lover during the Christmas season. 

Others might label Minseok a Scrooge, but Luhan knows it’s different from that. Minseok doesn’t hate people and happiness and holiday cheer. He’s nursing a decades-long dislike of any time of the year when people try to pretend to be what they’re not; families that meet once a year and smile at people they hate, presents delivered with necessity and not with love. Years and years of playing pretend in Minseok’s family have turned him away from holidays altogether, and Luhan doesn’t know how to change that. 

He hears the shower turn on with a blast of water, hears the curtain rings strain against the rod, and then a comforting sigh from his boyfriend when he steps into the warm water. Luhan fingers the complimentary packages of hot chocolate the staff have left on the hall counter next to the cheap, single-cup coffee pot both Luhan and Minseok refuse to drink from. It’s peppermint candy cane flavored hot chocolate which Luhan would love to make and savor by the log fireplace in the nice cushy armchair on the other side of their bed. Instead, he removes the packets and hides them behind the instant coffee where Minseok won’t look. Candy canes belong to Christmas, and Christmas is the worst thing Minseok likes being reminded of.

“Want me to start a fire?” Luhan yells through the bathroom door. There’s nothing exclusively _holiday_ about wood-burning fires. 

Minseok replies a few seconds later. “Sure!” 

It takes only one chemically altered log, a match, and a few extra splinters of wood to get a roaring blaze going. It’s atmospheric, the perfect touch for a late night winter evening on vacation with the love of his life. So what if Luhan had to call in advance and plead with the resort staff to remove any holiday wreaths or other decorations from their room. Baby steps. That’s what Luhan aims to take with Minseok. A year ago, Luhan despaired over not getting to do anything fun with Minseok during the holidays. Now though he’s got a week to spend in the mountains where snow falls and the world turns a beautiful white. They never discussed it in so many words, but Luhan has a feeling this is Minseok’s way of compromising. It’s his holiday concession, agreeing to this trip because he knows Luhan really wants it. 

“Ohh, it’s warm out here,” Minseok mumbles, stumbling out of the shower with just a fluffy robe and a towel wrung over his head. He’s smiling. That means he isn’t that unhappy, Luhan notes. Even if the restaurant they visited earlier insisted on serving a special dessert cookie with green Christmas trees drawn in frosting with their coffee. When Minseok ate it, he looked everywhere but at the treat going in his mouth. Even that much was impressive.

“Yes. Fire’s roaring. Come over here?” Luhan beckons toward him.

“I need my pajamas first,” Minseok whines.

“Why would you need pajamas when you have me?” To Luhan’s delight, Minseok doesn’t argue and he comes to him obligingly. 

Luhan immediately pulls him down in his lap, robe and all, Minseok squirming playfully. It doesn’t matter if a few drops of water escape the back tendrils of Minseok’s damp hair, or that an elbow accidentally finds its way into Luhan’s rib cage. His gasp of minor pain is overshadowed by Minseok’s laughter, and Luhan already knows there isn’t a more beautiful sound in the world. 

Luhan tries for the seated princess hold — one arm behind Minseok’s lower back and the other holding Minseok’s legs sideways over the arm of the chair. It only lasts a few seconds before Minseok pulls himself up, almost giggling before he tones down his laughter and fetches his sleepwear. Luhan remains still, content to observe, and he can’t help silently admiring the view of Minseok bending over his suitcase. The robe rides up a few inches, just not high enough. 

“So what do you want to do tomorrow?” Minseok asks. He slips one leg into a thick pair of plaid pajamas. They’re red and green… and blue and brown. Close enough, Luhan thinks. 

“Up to you,” he says. “We could go out and explore. Or we could stay in and be lazy.” Shopping in the village five minutes away is probably out of the question. Everything will be decorated and half the shopping wares will be Christmas souvenirs. The music will overpower everything and Minseok will be moody and refuse to buy anything just out of principle. No one ever said dating Minseok was easy.

“Explore where?” Minseok asks. He discards the robe and stands shirtless for a moment in just his bottoms. His exposed skin prickles in the cool air, but he can’t find the shirt he wants. 

“I told you, you don’t need clothes, Seok. I’ll warm you up.” Luhan smiles. 

Minseok only smirks, then sighs happily when he pulls out a sweater. Luhan frowns to see his skin being covered up. He almost forgets they were planning tomorrow’s adventures until Minseok brings it back up. 

“Oh, wherever you want," Luhan says. “There’s a ski lift a few miles away where you sled down.” Skiing isn’t quite their thing either, although that has more to do with their mutual lack of athleticism. “We can drive up there and just wander around. Take cute couple pictures. Frame them for posterity and kiss sloppily ten years from now while we relive these great memories.”

“Everything with you comes down to kissing, doesn’t it?” Minseok chuckles.

“And other things.”

Minseok ignores him. He crouches down before the fire with his back to Luhan and thaws his hands, lets his hair dry in the crisp, warm heat. “We can do that.” His voice has lost the sharpness. He sounds dull and uninterested, like he’s trying too hard to be amiable. All of this is terribly familiar to Luhan. It’s the same kind of the mood swings he’s been dealing with for their entire relationship — three years now. 

The first time he tried to kiss Minseok under the mistletoe, his boyfriend nearly had a panic attack and shoved him away. Luhan didn’t even know what he’d done wrong until days later he’d managed to uncover the reason: a memory buried deep in Minseok’s head of his parents who hated each other having to kiss under fake sprigs of tree in full view of their cheerfully naive extended family. Luhan never tried that again. 

“Okay… We can figure it out,” he says now. 

Minseok hums and scoots back on the floor until his back is flush to the seat of Luhan’s chair, head lulling back against Luhan’s knees and his own drawn up to his chest like a little boy. Luhan massages his damp scalp and wonders. They have three days left to their vacation and so far so good. It’s two days until Christmas and Luhan already knows they’ll spend the whole day in their room. He’s already downloaded a whole string of non-holiday, approved movies on their laptop. It’ll be fine.

 

 

 

 

 

Minseok’s sister calls while they’re out on the sledding hill the next day. Minseok doesn’t answer it of course, not the first time and not the second time either. Luhan doesn’t even mention it. 

“Shame there’s not enough snow to go skiing,” he says sarcastically.

“Because we’d totally do it if there was,” Minseok jokes. 

“Hey, you never know when it could suddenly sound like fun! I’m an opportunity-man. What if I suddenly felt like it—“

“You’re not that brave, Hannie.”

“—and I decided to do something new and awesome! _Awesome_ , Minseok, but the conditions aren’t right and so we’ll never find out—“

“If you’re a real man or not.”

“Hey!” Luhan cries. 

Minseok cackles like a mad man, all thoughts of his sister’s unanswered phone calls gone, just like Luhan planned. Then his phone buzzes; notice that a voicemail now sits un-listened to on Minseok’s phone and the mood goes south again. Minseok’s eyes drop and his smile disappears and Luhan tries not to sigh too loudly. 

“ _She only calls around the holidays because she feels like she has to,_ ” Minseok had explained once, when Luhan first caught him snapping his phone shut one Thanksgiving Day. 

“ _Some of my relatives only call around the holidays too,”_ Luhan had said. “ _It’s just a nice thing to do. A time for people to think about or remember others.”_

_“Yeah, but I assure you she doesn’t spare me even one thought on every other day of the year. Why should it matter because it’s suddenly a_ holiday _?”_

Luhan didn’t try to persuade him otherwise again. He didn’t have a sister like Minseok’s. Nor did he have parents who clearly didn’t care what their children were up to even a teensy bit, or even if they were alive. Minseok’s mom didn’t even call him holidays, that’s how little she professed to care. 

“Want to try sledding now?” Minseok asks, clearly moody because he caught Luhan being moody. 

“Can if you want,” says Luhan. He smiles extra brightly. Minseok only frowns more, but he turns around and starts to head up the hill to the little house that rents out sleds, waiting for holiday customers. Minseok isn’t a holiday customer. He’s just a beleaguered boyfriend trying his hardest not to act crabby in front of the man who tries his best to put up with him. It doesn’t always work. Maybe Luhan tries too hard some days. Maybe they shouldn’t even have come.

 

 

 

 

By the time they return to their hotel, they’re cold and damp from all the tumbles taken down the hill. Some of it is melted snow, some of it is dirt mixed in with the one inch of snow. At least the activity took their minds off of other things, and Minseok had smiled a couple times and also allowed Luhan to manhandle him on the ground after one particularly tumultuous slide where they tried the descent holding hands. That failed, but Luhan’s glee did not.

It’ll all go to waste though if any of the staff catch them in the lobby. 

They sneak in, Luhan looking apprehensive. Minseok acts bored, and when they turn a corner and are surprised by an overly cheerful woman, Minseok maintains the act.

“Hello, you two! Wow, it looks like you guys had a lot of fun out there today. Hey, I wanted to let you know that we have hot cocoa and caramel popcorn and some other goodies set out in the dining hall if you wanted to get warmed up. It’s supposed to snow a lot tonight, have you heard? Maybe tomorrow everyone will be able to go out and make real snowmen! We have a place already set up for it in the courtyard. Hope you see out there!” 

The jingle bell earrings cling sweetly as she moves her head. 

“Thank you,” Luhan says, hoping she’ll get the hint and not make him say anything more. Like, _no thank you, and please don’t talk to us anymore about Christmassy things because my boyfriend doesn’t like it and that nice smile he has plastered to his face is really his way of saying "f"off._

The woman bounds off, and Luhan doesn’t know if it’s because she got the hint or if she’s just naturally wandering the halls in search of more guests to welcome inside. 

Minseok doesn’t say anything about it; he never says anything about it anymore — the fact that holidays exist, but for him they don’t. He does his usual shower first, leaving Luhan to scramble around their room and find other ways to get warm until Minseok comes out and they can trade off. 

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, but Luhan can’t mention that. “I love you,” he tells Minseok later that night, long after the lights are out and he’s properly distracted his lover from all the day’s emotional stress. 

Minseok doesn’t respond immediately. He curls up tighter, huddled between several pillows and Luhan’s body, and he mumbles something. Luhan lifts his head and strains his ears. “Hmm?”

“I said, I love you, too,” Minseok whispers, slightly and humorously agrieved that he has to repeat himself, but his voice is small and fragile and Luhan can barely even hear it. “Thank you for putting up with me," he adds then with an even softer touch. 

Luhan doesn’t answer. He just hugs him tighter.

 

 

 

It does indeed snow overnight. A few more inches of white stuff cover the ground when they wake up, and Luhan can barely contain his excitement. It looks like he’s going to get a white Christmas after all, because where they have lived, it almost never occurs. Minseok grunts when he sees the change but doesn’t look terribly put out. In fact, he’s almost cheerful when Luhan back hugs him in front of the window and promises to fetch them breakfast from the dining hall. If it saves Minseok the trouble of having to see people and hear them greet each other with Merry Christmas’s, he’ll do anything to keep him happy. 

To his shock, Minseok takes his hand after breakfast and leads them to the courtyard. One small family and another couple are already out there attempting to make the best snowman they can, and Luhan gets a shock when he realizes Minseok’s idea. They claim the farthest corner of the courtyard, farther than anyone else and relatively alone. Then Minseok sinks to the ground in his winter clothes, boots and mittens and starts throwing the snow around. 

They don’t know how to make a snowman. Luhan has never done it before, but trying it for the first time with Minseok is very nearly the best Christmas present he could get, short of Minseok actually accepting Christmas itself. 

“I give up,” Luhan says five minutes later holding up a misshapen and lopsided clump of slow. “I can’t even figure out how to make a ball.” He pouts, and as Minseok laughs he chucks the clump back into the ground. It falls apart almost immediately upon impact. “Maybe we should google it.” Luhan sighs.

Minseok keeps on laughing. “Can’t. I left my phone in the room. Guess we’re stuck with your ice clump for a base.”

"You left your phone? B-but... but then how are we supposed to take pictures of this ghastly snowman!?"

"I don't know... use yours?" Minseok suggests with a gummy smile.

"But it's got a crack in the screen," Luhan complains.

"Not my fault you decided to sled _over_ it yesterday." Minseok laughs as he tries to make Luhan feel better. "Hey, at least it still works. It just looks funny now."  

"It fell out..." He pouts, voice like a whiny baby, even though there's no point giving Minseok the best of his puppy dog faces because there's seriously nothing Minseok can do about it now. 

Minseok sighs nevertheless, and he crawls over on his knees through the snow towards Luhan, leans forward and pecks him lightly on the nose. "I'll buy you a new one when we go home."

Luhan blushes and then beams happily. "Like for a Christmas present?"

The moment the words leave his mouth, Luhan wishes he could eat them and retract the whole situation. Minseok's eyes darken instantly and he smiles looses most of its flair. He freezes, mouth open mid-grin but when the corners of his lips start to drop Luhan's heart drops too. How could he even mention the C-word in front of him like that. Luhan doesn't know what came over him.

Presents are fine of course, when there's nothing attached to them, but Christmas presents...

A steady, light dusting of snow starts to fall in that moment, and Luhan falters. "I... I'm sorry."

Minseok averts his eyes, lips completely shut now as he kneels in the snow. Then he stands up, shakily picking up one foot and then the other as he tries to regain his balance. "It's... nothing. You have nothing to apologize for," he says softly. Then he walks towards the hotel.

Luhan cries. He can't help it. His eyes water without his control and his nose burns, and something beats in his chest that he can't entirely put a name to. Regret, for bringing that up and spoiling the mood. Hurt, that Minseok just walked away. Confusion, because what Minseok said didn't even make sense. Anger, that Minseok is like this in the first place, or that it's always been up to Luhan to decide to deal with it or not. After three years, it's this last emotion that hits him suddenly, the strongest it's ever been.

It's not fair. _He's_ the one walking on eggshells around Minseok, always. He's the one playing the game, dancing around Minseok's limitations on a daily basis wondering where and what will crack Minseok today. He wishes they'd never come here. They should have stayed home. Then they could have sat indoors in their shared apartment without a single festive bauble or garland, _no tree_ , no lights, nothing wrapped in paper or ribbon, not even a single damn jingle bell in the whole place - they should have just stayed there and  _dealt with it!_ Because that's what Luhan does best. He _deals_ with it.

But now he's tired of it...

Minseok has already disappeared indoors. It's just Luhan alone and the other families outside, but nobody notices his aloneness except him. He wipes away the tears from his eyes and stands up resolute, the lumps of their snowman-making-effort crushed under his next step, and then he strides through the courtyard and into the hotel. He's going to deal with things now, however and wherever it takes him. He's going to deal with this the way he's always wanted to before, deep in the recesses of his mind, all the plans he joked about doing and never did because he was too afraid. Too afraid of upsetting Minseok. He's not afraid now though. 

There's a gift shop in the lobby. Luhan has to pass it on his way to the right corridor, and before now he never even glanced at it. Now though he makes a purposeful visit and, armed with his purchases, he sets course for their room, knowing there's no other place Minseok would have gone to.

He answers his phone without thinking, more out of habit, just as he swings open their hotel room door. 

"Hello?" 

He doesn't know why he thought it might be Minseok. His boyfriend is on the other side of their room, tears in his eyes, but no phone in his hand. Their eyes meet and hold as another voice speaks into Luhan's ear.

"Hello? Hello, Luhan? Is that you?"

"Y-yes...? Hello."

It's Minseok's mother. Every bit of resolve Luhan had when he was walking here crumbles at the sound of her irritable voice.

"Well, _finally_ someone answers my call. Where's my son? I've been trying to get ahold of him for _days_ , and he's just refusing to answer so I figured he must be dead or something."

"Uhhh..." says Luhan, eyes still fixed on Minseok. He stalls, because he wasn't expecting this kind of interruption. 

"His sister's been calling too, but he won't answer her either," the woman continues just like Luhan had committed to a long conversation. She speaks fast and accents her words sharply, and she positively sighs when Luhan interrupts her monologue.

"Is... is there something going on?" Luhan figures he needs to clarify this first.

"No? What would be going on. We're just trying to get ahold of my son. Did you know his sister got a new car? We were just going to tell him all about it. Is he there? Can I speak to him?"

Luhan implores him wordlessly from across the room. Minseok by now had figured out the caller and if he wasn't frozen in a panic before, he surely is now.

"He's... in the bathroom right now," Luhan answers.

"Is he?" she drawls. "Well, if he's determined to be a brat, then I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Luhan, be a _dear_ , and tell him Merry Christmas from us. If he even cares."

"Okay..."

She sighs again, like this whole phone call is such a tiring ordeal. "Thanks again!" she quips unthankfully and hangs up.

Luhan lowers the phone slowly from his ear, officially past whatever anger he'd pent up earlier. He can't look at Minseok even though he knows his boyfriend is still observing him none too stealthily, curiosity mixed with aversion to the caller of the phone call. 

Minseok's family doesn't like Luhan. That much has always been clear. Whether or not it's because their personalities just never hit it off, or they hate him for stealing their precious boy - emphasize _precious_ very ironically - from their clutches and into the arms of a homosexual relationship, Luhan has long since gotten past the caring point. Because of Minseok, they rarely interact except at the rarest of times, and when they do it's such a formal, pleasant affair that reeks of actual indifference and dislike. He doesn't really blame Minseok for avoiding their company as much as he does. He'd want to avoid people who like to talk only about themselves too, if he had any choice.

"Luhan." Minseok's voice sounds pitiful, pleading.

Luhan doesn't answer. He's still trying to gather his wits and remember whatever it was he stormed up here to do. 

"Luhan, I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asks. He drops the plastic gift store bag on the bed without looking at it. Every one of his ideas seems like a such a silly, unfruitful endeavor, and now he feels horrible for even thinking it in the first place.

"Was that my mother?"

Luhan nods.

"I'm sorry you had to answer that. It... it should have been me. They shouldn't bother you. They shouldn't have to bother you..." says Minseok. He sniffs a few times even though his tears are drying up.

"It doesn't matter," Luhan partially admits. "She didn't have anything worth saying anyways. It's okay."

"But it's not okay, is it? It's not okay."

Luhan is silent again, confirming that Minseok is right, and yes indeed not everything is alright. Not with this whole situation, not with it being a holiday and he can't even say it; not between _them_. 

"You hate this, don't you?" Minseok says quietly.

"I don't hate you."

"That's not what I meant." 

No, it's not what Minseok meant, and Luhan knows it. He sighs, because it hurts. Everything hurts. His head, his heart. He drops his phone, intending it to land at the end of the bed, but he misjudges it, and the phone slides off the comforter and hits the floor. He tries to catch it, misses, and jerks forward. The plastic bag also slides off. Luhan catches that bag first, but momentum is already swinging him forward and he lands with a jolt on his hands and knees and he cries out.

"Luhan!"

Minseok is yelling, but all Luhan feels is the slight carpet burn even through his pants and the rough marks on the pads of his hands where he threw them forward to catch himself. 

"Are you okay?" Minseok lands next to him, overly worried given the situation and Luhan chuckles.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Let me see." Minseok grabs one of his hands and inspects it, brushing off the floor dust and dirt with his fingers. His cool breath on the inside of his palms feels refreshing. So does the outpouring of love and concern on Minseok's face. Every awkward moment from before is brushed away just like the dust on his palms. He shifts to where he's sitting with his back to the bed frame, knees up. Minseok kneels next to him and rubs a tentative hand to his knee caps. 

"I'm okay," says Luhan truthfully. 

This time it's Minseok who sits there quietly, not looking at him. Seconds pass with neither one of them speaking. Finally Minseok says, "Where did you go?" He's poking the bag like its contents might bite him. 

Luhan closes his eyes and wheezes, almost laughing. "Just a stupid idea I had... Forget it."

Silence again, but when he hears the rustling of the bag he realizes his mistake. Minseok is about to peruse it, about to see what he bought. Luhan is about to ruin everything again. "No, stop!" He opens his eyes, expecting to see another frozen version of Minseok and instead it's Minseok who looks alarmed at Luhan, but not because he's upset. He stills, his hands on the item that he's looking down at curiously and then back at Luhan. 

Now Luhan really does want to wheeze. 

"What... are these for?" Minseok asks.

Luhan groans. "Ughghh... nothing. Just... I was being ornery and.. and... I just bought that stuff, and... please don't look at it. I'll take it back. I'm so sorry."

He clenches his eyes shut again, willing himself to not see Minseok freak out or be upset again, even though it's pretty much too late.

"Why?" asks Minseok.

"Why what."

"Why do you need to take them back?"

The clinking of a tiny bell wakes Luhan back to reality. He turns his head instantly, catches Minseok in slow motion, slowly, agonizingly slow, taking the reindeer antler headband from the bag and placing it on his head. He doesn't smile. He doesn't frown either. It's a concentrated effort and once it sits firmly on his head, Minseok's hands continue up, tracing the furry, cotton-covered antlers like he's mapping it all out. 

"How do I look?" he asks in a small, shy voice, like he's still exploring this strange thing called Christmas.

Luhan's heart expands, explodes, bursts into a billion tiny pieces. The antlers make Minseok look about ten years old, and that combined with his serious face makes him look absolutely-

"Adorable," Luhan coos. 

Finally, Minseok smiles. And then he blushes. "Really?" 

"Yes." Luhan swallows hard.

"G-Good. So uhm... are these for me too then?" He spreads open the bag. Out falls a pair of couple socks, one Christmas tree-themed, and another a reindeer like Minseok's headband. A few jingle bell necklaces, a marshmallow snowman, and one chocolate Nutcracker candy bar. 

Luhan doesn't know how to answer. Honestly he was either going to throw them at Minseok's feet, or throw them out the window but not in a million years did he expect Minseok to actually pick through the festive things himself. 

"Do... you want them?" Luhan asks.

Minseok bites his bottom lip, and the whole image of him makes Luhan once again want to swoon.

"If you'll wear them with me. Can I eat the chocolate bar?"

Someone - preferably Minseok - really needs to wipe the stunned look off his face, Luhan thinks. He picks up the candy bar and offers it to him. "You sure?"

Minseok smiles, half-grimaces. "Yes. I want to try. For you. If you'll help me..." 

For the first time since they attempted making snowmen together, they grin at each other. "Want to start with the Christmas socks then?"

 

 

 

 

"You know, if you would just sit still, this might go a little faster," Luhan teases with a smile.

Minseok sits on the edge of the bed, face hidden bashfully behind his two hands and trying to maintain a straight face. One bare foot drags on the carpet, twitching. The other is practically spasming between Luhan's hands, a reindeer sock with a fuzzy red pom for the nose half-on Minseok's foot. 

"I c-can't... help it!" Minseok cries. Luhan knew he was ticklish, but this is starting to get a little ridiculous. The way Minseok is kicking around, he's starting to fear for his chest, ribs, stomach, and hopefully not any lower than that. 

"I'm not even touching your skin!" he protests.

"No, but the material is, and it tickles!"

Luhan guffaws, tugging up the sock finally and then twisting it back into place. "Ticklish just from the material? Wow, how do you even wear clothes?"

"It's just my feet, I swear."

Luhan gives him a breather before starting with the other one. He leans back on his heels, knees on the ground and smiles up at his boyfriend who sits timidly on the bed. He feels like he's proposing from this position; all he needs is the ring. Instead though it's Minseok's proposal, mostly unspoken, to allow Luhan to subject him to this nonsense. Christmas fluff and socks and all that. It kind of takes Luhan's breath away, seeing him from this angle, so eager to try, so eager to please. 

"You're staring at me," says Minseok with a straight face. Only the upper right corner of his lips betrays Minseok's inner happiness.

"Am I not allowed to stare?"

"Mmm. No."

"No?" Luhan cries. "Why not and when did you initiate this rule?"

Minseok hums again before explaining. "Since... the time you made me take off my perfectly normal white socks to replace them with reindeer impersonations of your face. And... since my other foot is still cold and about to freeze off." He wiggles his bare foot like a child and Luhan beams at him.

"Alright..." Luhan laughs. "But you better hold still this time."

"I'm trying!" Minseok insists, but his composure is lost just seconds later when Luhan tackles his second foot.

 

 

 

"So what next?" Minseok asks him later. They're lying in bed tangled in the sheets even though it's the middle of the day, most of their clothes on the floor but the socks remain. Streaks of dullish white light criss-cross the room through the partially open curtains of their window. 

Luhan sneaks his foot out through a gap in the covers, one ghastly looking Christmas tree pattern sock in bright green. It contrasts nicely with the white sheets.

"Hmm, I don't know."

Luhan has some ideas of course. He's just not certain how far he wants to push Minseok on a day like this. The resort is serving a lovely Christmas Eve meal in the dining room tonight, and he's pretty sure they still have table reservations open. Before this morning he was planning on just getting room service. There might even be a small Christmas band during the dinner hour. They might - they definitely will - play Christmas music for the guests while they eat. Perhaps Luhan can risk it. 

"It's... Christmas Eve," Minseok says, like he's testing out the phrase.

"Yes."

"What do people usually do on Christmas Eve?"

Luhan thinks about it. "Whatever they want? Some people stay in. Some go out. Some go to church. People eat, sing, throw parties; or they open presents, if you're the kind of person who can't wait for Santa until Christmas morning." 

Minseok snorts. "Santa. Hmph." 

Luhan laughs along with him, tucks his foot back into the warmth of the covers and buries it under Minseok's much warmer legs. "Sadly," Luhan says, "all of those ideas - or at least most of them - require getting dressed again. And since you've proven that you just _can't_ wear clothes because God forbid they might rub against your skin and tickle you, I just don't know what to do anymore." He lets out an exaggerated sigh. 

Minseok giggles. "You know, every time you move, these sheets also kind of tickle."

Luhan stills, contemplative. Then he grins, yelling, "Away with the covers then!" and tosses them away and down with a flourish. Minseok shrieks and dives to retrieve them. The down comforter is well on its way to the ground, most of the sheets with it. Minseok has to sit up and scramble to catch it before they fall and Luhan relishes the rear angle of his beloved's perfect, naked body.

Minseok dresses quickly after that, no longer trusting Luhan to not freeze him out. It's growing dark outside before they bring up Christmas again, and it's Minseok who starts it.

"Presents," he says in a small voice. It's not a question, not an exclamation. Just a word that Luhan doesn't know how to respond to.

"Yes?" Luhan asks just as timidly.

"People... give each other presents for Christmas," Minseok declares.

"Usually, yes," Luhan says. He has absolutely no idea where Minseok is going with this, and he doesn't want to act like he's ridiculously curious.

"I... but I don't have anything for you." Minseok frowns, but Luhan smiles. 

So this is what Minseok meant. "That's alright," Luhan tries to reassure him. "We're not kids. Presents aren't a huge deal, and even then - timing isn't so important."

Minseok looks like he's trying to digest this information. He nods a couple times, checks out the view from the window - it's lightly snowing again - and then rubs his hands against his arms in an attempt to warm up. As if even the sight of snow puts a damper to this whole vacation, this whole Christmas vacation. Luhan can see him trying so hard to get over it. Every preconceived notion of the holiday and of how people spend it together. It would almost be cute to watch him, if only Luhan wasn't so completely freaked out underneath. He's waiting for Minseok to crack, to tell him enough already and that this is just a pointless endeavor. 

"You'd like a present on Christmas morning though, wouldn't you?" Minseok asks him.

How to answer that... Luhan shrugs, determined to remain aloof. 

"Are there any places to.. shop? Or to buy something around here that... that would work as Christmas presents?" Minseok asks again.

Luhan holds in a gasp, literally shocked. "Sure? Yeah, I think so? There are a few around and in the resort. We just... haven't gone by any of them."

Minseok looks outside once more. Then he nods affirmatively. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, I want to... buy you something." 

"You... really don't have to," Luhan says. "I don't have anything for you either, technically so..."

"You already bought me things though," Minseok cuts him off. He picks up his foot and shows him one garishly decorated sock. Then he points at the trash can where the wrapper from his chocolate candy is tossed. Luhan doesn't even look at where Minseok points next: somewhere along the bed pillows where Minseok's reindeer headband fell off earlier. 

"Those... those were just for fun," says Luhan.

"Hmmmm."

Luhan's scared of pushing it, of perhaps suggesting, "Should we go shopping? Together?" Maybe it he holds Minseok's hand through the whole ordeal? 

Minseok clenches his fist. Unclenches it. "Okay." He sounds resolved, but it's of a lighter variation, as if something within Minseok is crumbling, but it's only his icy cold, frigid holiday walls.

 

 

 

 

"I knew I hated it. I knew I hated it. I knew it!" Minseok is repeating under his breath, grumbling more like. He's starting to cut off the circulation in Luhan's poor hand. 

"It's alright... I agree with you. Christmas music mostly sucks. Just, don't think about it?"

"How am I supposed to not think about it? It's everywhere!" Minseok complains loudly, and several other nearby shoppers stop to stare and frown. 

They're standing in the middle of the village square on Christmas Eve. Luhan tried to stop him, tried to persuade him that places like these would be the absolute worst. Exposing Minseok to Christmas is part of Luhan's agenda, but there is such a thing as too much exposure therapy, especially when it comes all at once in the form of a jolly, little village decked to the nines in lights, decor, garlands, baubles, lamp posts, window candles and several rooftop light-up sleigh sets, all reindeer accounted for. It's a tourist trap at best. Luhan never thought in all his days that he and Minseok together would be the ones trapped in it. However, Minseok had scoffed his noses at the cheap trinkets in the resort gift shops. They took their car and drove here, and now Luhan doesn't know whether he should be regretting this whole excursion, or laughing.

"Poor baby. Should I buy you a super thick scarf and hat to drown out the noise?"

"No." Minseok is sulky. "Because if we get separated and I can't hear you because of a stupid hat, I'm blaming you. And the hat." 

A family trails beside them just then, a set of very beleaguered parents with three children. The entire family is whiny for whatever reason. Minseok stops instinctively at the first yells of exasperation from mother to kids: sharp, harsh words conveying her general annoyance and how dare they talk back to her after all the crap she's bought for them. The father stays silent the whole time and soon enough they are gone passed, just another nameless family in the crowd and so far not enjoying Christmas very much.

Whether that triggers something in Minseok's brain or not, Luhan doesn't give him time to dwell on it. He steps in front of him, nose to nose and places his hands over each of Minseok's ears, thereby drowning out the noise of the nearest jingle-playing loudspeaker. 

"There. How's that?" he asks. 

Minseok takes a moment before he focuses in, eyes still after the family but soon enough they're on Luhan entirely. He softens, sighs, and smiles. 

"What? What was that? I can't hear you? Did you just tell me I'm ugly or something because I'd have to disagree. You are definitely uglier than me." He smiles wide and titters at his own joke.

Luhan boxes his ears playfully. "Stupid." Then he takes his hand again. "Okay, so where are we going. You wanted to come out here. You pick!"

Minseok takes another survey of the square, finally honing in on a larger storefront with assorted wares. He points. "I'm going in there."

"Okay..." says Luhan. "Does that mean I'm _not_ going in there?"

"Yes. I think we should reconvene in," he checks his watch, "twenty minutes. Here. Right back here in twenty minutes. How's that?"

"How's that?" Luhan echoes. "How's that? Minseok, going Christmas shopping by himself. What is this world coming to? Does this mean we can get a Christmas tree next year?"

"Ask me that again in a year, and maybe I'll have an answer," Minseok says without missing a beat. 

"Twenty minutes," Luhan smiles. "Alright. To task!"

They neither of them move right away, still frozen by each other's side. Technically though it's Minseok not moving, and Luhan just wants to be sure he's alright. There'd been a few more purposefully missed calls and ignored texts this evening. Most of them from people Minseok knew only as acquaintances, people who didn't actively know how much Minseok didn't like holidays. He'd ignored them, but then he had also kept Luhan informed of every new 'Happy Holidays!' message he'd received, and there was a grudging sort of acceptance about it. 

People don't change in a day. Maybe next year along with a tree, Minseok might actually respond to people with an equally brief holiday greeting. One thing at a time.

"Seok, you okay?" Luhan asks now. He places a hand on the small of his back, nowhere close to touching though through Minseok's bright red sweater and sleeveless black jacket. 

"Hmm? Yes, I'm fine." He narrows his eyes, focused, about to step away when an employee of the nearest shop to them comes out in search of customers for a give-away. 

"Merry Christmas," says the bored sounding young man with a long, gaunt face. His nametag reads: _Hi! I'm Sehun!_ Somehow, the cheerful name badge doesn't quite match his personality. "Happy Holidays. My boss told me to pass out these buttons because it's Christmas or something and we have a ton. Here. Here you go. Thanks. Have a good night." To Minseok he passes a couple silver button-pin snowflakes shaped almost like diamonds. Minseok palms them, confused, and he's about to ask the man about the pins except he'd already turned away to track down other passers-by. 

"What?" Minseok asks Luhan instead.

"Just a freebie, I guess. Here, can I put it on you?" Luhan asks, taking one of them from Minseok's hand. He doesn't wait for an answer, but places the pin on Minseok's jacket and then steps back to admire his work. 

"I thought all snowflakes were supposed to be different," Minseok drones. "And here we have two identical ones."

"So what? It means we're meant to be together probably."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Quit fighting destiny, Minseok, and go buy me a present."

Minseok pouts. "You better get me something too then." 

"Oh, I am, definitely. Twenty minutes remember, and we'll meet right back here!"

"Okay."

 

 

 

It's not twenty minutes, but closer to ten when Luhan sees Minseok emerge from his chosen store. He laughs at him from afar because Minseok's sense of timeliness apparently transfers to Christmas shopping too. Luhan didn't have any troubles picking out something lovely for him, and it seems neither did Minseok. Both stand on opposite ends of the square looking for the other, Luhan with a bag, Minseok with a white box. He doesn't know what it is yet but Luhan already knows he's going to love it. 

Minseok bought him a Christmas present. 

Luhan can officially march up to him and tell him Merry Christmas.

They can get a tree next year and decorate it with cheesy ornaments, framed pictures of each other, a few more ornaments, and a lot more pictures of them together. With matching socks and antler headbands. 

Maybe they can drink hot chocolate tonight.

Life is going to be good.

Minseok looks lost and lonely all the way across the square, and he peers out through the crowd which is starting to thin down a little bit, looking for Luhan. And then he does. A light snow starts to fall the moment their eyes meet across the long pavement, and for a moment neither of them move and then Minseok's eyes alight and his face beams and he bears his teeth in a huge smile, waving his boxed Christmas present over the air in triumph. 

Luhan knows it's going to be a good year, because it's already a great Christmas.


	2. 1 Year Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated R for sexy things

Luhan comes out of his bedroom, yawning. It’s earlier than he planned to wake up, not even eight o’clock on this Christmas Day, but the other side of the bed was cold, and where Minseok goes, Luhan is sure to follow.

 

“Minseok?” he calls down the hallway, sliding on his big fluffy robe before the chill drives him back to bed. His slippers pad down the wood floor, the slapping noises sure to alert his boyfriend that he’s awake, wherever Minseok is.

 

“Minseok?” he calls again, a little louder.

From the living room he hears his voice. “In here!”

Luhan’s smile comes to him unbidden. “So there you are,” he preens as he slips his head past the living room door frame.

Minseok is dressed similar to him in a large robe and thick comfy house shoes, tousled hair from just getting out of bed. Luhan can’t tell if he looks just as sleepy as him though, for Minseok is standing in the middle of the room, facing away, arms crossed as he stares… possibly glares… at the Christmas tree in the corner.

It’s been a year since Luhan took him to the mountains, to see snow and celebrate a holiday that Minseok refused to acknowledge. A whole year since they made a breakthrough, Luhan’s very own Christmas miracle.

They’ve avoided all the garish holiday parties this season, but Minseok casually approved of Luhan’s plans to decorate their apartment. It’s not much; a few plastic evergreen garlands over the window, a poinsettia on the kitchen counter, a couple stockings hanging from the nonfunctional for-looks-only fireplace mantlepiece and a small nativity set on top.

Luhan spent most of his energies on the Christmas tree, a real one that stands at 5 feet high. He hoped he could persuade Minseok to help him decorate it, but the opportunity never presented itself, and Minseok barely acted like he’d noticed it was there. A few days ago Luhan went ahead and hung up a few ornamental balls and some snowflakes he bought at the store. Most of his decorations were passed down from family members, but he inherited none of the ornaments. Perhaps he is foolish, but he always imagined he would collect his own over the years, together with his significant other. It’s the fourth Christmas Luhan has now spent with Minseok, and their only shared memories include a winter vacation, and two sets of matching snowflake pins.

And last night, in lieu of an angel or a star, Luhan tied them together with a gold ribbon and hung them from the topmost branch.

“Minseok?” he asks worriedly. “What’s the matter?”

Minseok twirls around and showcases a taut smile.

“Nothing. Just… staring at this thing.” He turns back to look at it again.

“Do you… like it?”

Minseok shrugs. “It’s okay, I guess.”

For a moment Luhan feels relieved, but then he notices the tightness of Minseok’s shoulders, the stance that says he’s clearly wrestling with some part of his brain, and it’s probably Christmas-related. In which case, the only thing Luhan can do is distract him.

He shuffles up behind him and clasps his fingers together, low in front of Minseok’s belly. “Don’t think so much,” he whispers, resting his chin on Minseok’s shoulder.

A soft sigh escapes Minseok’s lips, a sigh that turns into a barely audible squeak when Luhan abandons all courtesy and slips his hand down the front of Minseok’s drawstring pants. But Minseok recoils and Luhan frowns back. He takes his hand away and, still leaning against his boyfriend’s back, asks mischievously. “What?”

He cranes his head to the side so that Minseok can see his innocent blinking.

Minseok scoffs aloud. “You’re too much.” And then he laughs.

Luhan blinks some more.

“But it’s so early…” Minseok complains.

“You mean there’s such a thing as too early for sex?”

“Yes. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know. I just wanted to get up and… decide how much I like or dislike this… thing.” Minseok points at the Christmas tree and Luhan bristles up in disdain because how dare Minseok have hard feelings for a dying tree. It’s not that tree’s fault somebody tore it from the earth and then sold it to a guy like Luhan, who brought it home and let it sit undecorated for almost two weeks before buying cheap ornaments to hang and not even a strand of lights.

He grins into Minseok’s neck instead of voicing that, kissing what little skin he can expose, placatingly. “Okay, okay. I’ll let you make up your mind first.”

Luhan refuses to let him go though. Instead, he walks them both backwards until his calves meet the sofa and then he sits down, taking Minseok with him. They sprawl unattractively onto the cushions, and Minseok giggles, half protesting that Luhan let him go, half mashing him in playful spite.

Luhan wins the struggle, as he usually does. He sits up as straight as he can on the sofa with his legs wide open, Minseok stuck to his middle, encasing him evenly with his thighs, arms; with his kisses too.

“You’re amorous today,” says Minseok with another laugh.

Luhan denies it vigorously, even though he’s certain Minseok can feel his half-hard cock through his pajamas, resting right up against the back of Minseok’s bottom, pants and robe notwithstanding.

“I’m not doing anything,” Luhan denies himself. And he won’t, until he feels like Minseok has had a proper amount of time to consider Christmas, again.

He lets the time wear down, a few more shades of light growing through the early morning window. It never snows here, not for Christmas, not afterwards. There will be no snowmen this year and no sledding, no kissing in the falling snow. This year it’s just him and Minseok, together, in their own little place, meager Christmas decorations and all.

Minseok has come a long way with the holidays, but there’s no denying he still has mild anxiety whenever his phone rings or whenever a relative calls. He doesn’t ignore them quite like he used to, but his responses are still clipped and impersonal. ‘Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too… Ok, thanks for calling see you later, Bye.’

Outside, the city has been ablaze by Christmas and holiday festivities for well over a month, well before anyone has any right to be celebrating, and Minseok has taken it in stride, tunnel vision kicking in when it gets the hardest, but with Luhan next to him, he’s been mainly alright.

He still doesn’t like it, presents and holiday salutations, and people acting cheerful for no other reason than ‘It’s Christmas!’ And maybe there will always be a little of that in Minseok’s head: he can’t fundamentally understand why a season can suddenly change people, or why people believe that it can.

Luhan barely understands it himself, holidays and joy. Where does all of that go when the season is done. The presents will be put up, the decorations boxed away. Even this poor little tree that Minseok is so avidly judging will end up on the side of the curb until heavy trash takes it away. Everything is so fleeting, and cyclical when it happens all over again a year later. And perhaps that’s what Minseok fears, that people and their love could be just as a fleeting, or just so illogically cyclical.

Luhan wants to show him, that his love isn’t so.

He wrestles with his robe, now overheated since he’s sandwiched between the couch and Minseok’s body. Minseok protests when he has to scoot him around to untrap the material, but he settles back down nicely when Luhan is done. He still stares at the tree, eyes narrow and focused. How much he is actually considering that tree though, and not life in general, Luhan doesn’t know. He dozes, quite happy and content as long as Minseok is facing life with Luhan by his side.

Minseok’s gaze leaves the tree a few minutes later, eyes now roaming to everything else in their apartment, to the poor poinsettia Luhan keeps forgetting to water, the garlands, to the stockings, one faded with Luhan’s name embroidered to the cuff, an old family heirloom. The other is newer, a little less festive, but Luhan’s mother made it for Minseok two years ago as a token gift for making their son happy. This is the first year Luhan has felt brave enough to hang it up.

He watches as Minseok’s eyes take it in, heavily considering the stocking, probably weighing the intentions behind it. Luhan half expects him to say something, but instead Minseok looks above it.

“Why is your nativity set all scattered apart?”

Luhan snorts. “What do you mean?”

 

“The uhm… wise men? How come you have them all the way to the right and the rest of the figures all the way to the left?”

“Because the wise men didn’t make it to the baby Jesus on the exact night of his birth. Took them a few years probably. See? They’re still traveling. Or at least, that’s how my mother always set them up.”

He presses another kiss to Minseok’s neck, apologetically appeasing him for the unbalance of figurines. Minseok likes order, balance. He probably hates Luhan’s Christmas tree. The baubles and snowflakes are even more lopsided than usual. Back when Luhan still lived at home, decorating the tree was a huge ordeal with many hands and eyes, arguments and laughter abounding as everyone shared their opinion of just how many blue ornaments needed to be in this section of the tree, or how the strands of lights weren’t even, or how the angel was crooked on top. Organized chaos and it usually ended with a nice byproduct, a shimmering tree made with love.

“Hmph.”

But that’s all Minseok has to say on the subject.  

He lets another ten minutes go, all but cuddling now, neither of them speaking. He worms his cold hands back underneath Minseok’s robe, burrowed near the other’s crotch, but not touching, not explicitly. Luhan wants to give Minseok all the time he needs to mentally burn down the Christmas tree; until he’s got that off his chest, he won’t be happy.

He barely notices when Minseok starts to squirm, purposefully, intentionally.

“What?” Luhan asks, instantly more awake. It’s hard to ignore the fact he’s been half hard this whole time, and now Minseok is exasperating it further.

“You’re making me horny,” is all Minseok says. Luhan can’t decipher if Minseok is upset about this, or perfectly alright.

“I thought you were contemplating Christmas?”

“I was, but now I’m just… Oh never mind.” He makes to stand up, but Minseok promptly pulls him back down.

He’s been waiting for this all morning, to push aside the front of Minseok’s robe and reach down for his cock. He does this exactly, while Minseok continues to squirm, pushing the robe off his shoulders. He forces Luhan’s hand away just long enough to rip his shirt off over his head, and then he sinks back down comfortably, almost at a recline. His head falls back to the side of Luhan’s, resting now against Luhan shoulder. Meanwhile Luhan pushes his pajamas down just far enough so he can see what he’s doing.

It’s a lazy handjob, the kind they frequently give each other when they wake up too early. The only difference now is that Luhan isn’t trying to get himself off yet, and they’re sitting on the couch instead of laying in bed. Luhan doesn’t mind though. Minseok’s cock feels like silk in his hands, his hold light and gentle so he doesn’t rub too hard against Minseok’s sensitive skin.

The way they’re going though, they could probably keep it up for hours. Minseok has incredible stamina, and this isn’t nearly enough, but for now he seems content. He arches his back, lapping up the attention Luhan gives to his neck and to his cock. Luhan’s unoccupied hand switches between pinching his nipple or diving lower to spread Minseok’s thighs and play with his balls, alternating at a place slow enough to drive Minseok to frustration.

He leaves him then, darting off the sofa and running through the house. Luhan stays put and shirks off the rest of his clothes while he waits, his pants and boxers discarded, shirt thrown somewhere over the back of the couch. Only his robe remains because he’s too lazy to stand up and besides, it makes a nice throw blanket to protect their couch from the inevitable.

When Minseok comes back, bottle in his hand, cock standing proudly against his stomach, he finds Luhan stroking himself, moaning softly, expectantly.

“Lube me up, come on, Luhan,” he begs a moment later, knees already straddling Luhan’s thighs.

“What, facing this way? Baby, don’t you want to get fucked while facing the tree?”

“Why would I want to stare at that thing when I could be looking at you?”

Minseok kisses him, hungrily, roughly, and for just a little while, Luhan could care less about Christmas.


End file.
